i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This baby is an asshole
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
