your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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