don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
