i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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