using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
are you so shy because you have an std?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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