I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Bring me that man meat
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
