i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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