it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My vagina just clenched in fear
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