he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
