I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
