Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
