i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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