you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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