wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
