So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize