It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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