Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
