I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
