yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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