My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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