Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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