Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
