Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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