she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
