I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize