I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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