actually, I'm a sock model
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
