? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You're like the curious george of whores
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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