there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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