If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
