Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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