wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
