Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
