we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
