Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
