you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
