Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
