There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Someone shattered a urinal.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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