fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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