he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
