What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think my tv is drunk
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize