How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
