I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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