It's like God shit irony all over that family
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just pee around me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize