even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
