so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
