And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
