So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
