For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
