i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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