I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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