Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
