found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
