ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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