He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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