he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you will always have a special place in my vag
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
